Tuesday, May 24, 2011

From Under A Rock - What Not to Do pt I

Today you are in a for a super quick really cool hidden bit of arcane lore that is held dear by DMs/GMs and Storytellers everywhere. This bit of information is sure to keep you alive longer if you follow it than if you choose to ignore my warnings. The sages of old respect this advice and once you learn the wisdom I am about to magnanimosity share you will too. Sure, you can go about and do whatever you want but then I will be reading about you under a rock.

So here it is.

If you want to have a successful, happy, adventuring career free of overpowered cheesewiz

NEVER accuse your DM of lying or cheating....

Now for a palate refresher, DM Says ya gonna die!


  1. Word! A player once accused me of cheating. He was playing a Wizard, who was Invisible. They dragon they were fighting still nailed him with a breath weapon due to its Blindsense. The player accused me of having it out for him in such a whiny manner.

    I kicked him out.

  2. Christian that's EXACTLY why I am warning players. Hey this might be fun. To my other dungeon masters and players out there. Do you have any similar stories to share? Was it fair? Was it not fair? What happened? Let's get some lively discussion on this one!

  3. As an example of whiny-ness we had a Storyteller in our group of four storytellers running a Vampire Larp at a club. He was the Sabbat storyteller and I was the Camarilla storyteller. So imagine my surprise when I overhear a whiny twink who wants to play a Lasombra in his Sabbat pack. The discussion went something like this:

    Whiny Player "I wanna be a Lasombra"
    Josh "Ok, why do you want to be a Lasombra?"
    Whiny Player "Because I want the kewl powerz"
    Josh "Ok, why else?"
    Whiny Player "Because I want to diab everyone"
    Josh "We may not have room for another Lasombra. Give me a bit of your background."
    Whiny Player "I want to play a Lasombra"
    Josh "..."
    Whiny Player "I want to play a Lasombra"
    Josh "You cannot play a Lasombra."
    Whiny Player "But I WANNA PLAY ONE!"
    Josh "You're a Toreador."

    ...Guess what... The Toreador's diabed him the second night... The Cam storyteller MAY have covered it up. :D

  4. That's an awesome story. With my player, I even quoted Gygax in the DMG where he wrote that intelligent monsters will target spellcasters because they understand the inherent danger represented by a fireball wielding fool. This guy, however, just could not separate what was happening to his /character/ from something that was NOT happening to his real life self. It was freaking bizarre.

    Man, I hate whining at the game table!!!!

  5. You could have also just said "Well he's a dragon and he knew you'd be there. Dragon's INT 34, your INT 18. Dragon doesn't care if you are visible or invisible. Breath weapon hits everyone. Now kindly please make a Reflex roll."

    Or if you really want to shine him on (and do not care that he is definitely going to leave after you do this) roll the percentile dice for the 50% blindsight miss chance and without looking at the results say "He got ya."